Unpredictability
by jack o'neill junior
Summary: This is a roleplay NOT a story. it is very unpredictable. Take it how you want it. Hope you enjoy.


hey people thought i better say from the begining this is a roleplay! not a story as such but a roleplay! it is to be read like a play so there is not much description. me and my mate did this over msn playing the different characters i thought it was cool so i decided to put it on here. hehehe as it was my and my mate doing this it might not make much sense and some of it may still be written in short hand...sorry bout that.

a few notes...

any words in _italics _are actions, thoughts, emotions...basicly anything thats not spoken.

anything is brackets () is an Aurthor's note from either me or my friend, i've hopefully taken out most of the random ones if i have missed any i'm sorry!

again as this was done by me and my freind it is a bit random at the begining.

it has been ratedT as it does include a few swear words and a little torture, so i put T to be on the safe side.

Well people if u like it let me know if u dont ...dont let me know (only joking u can if u wish)

oh and just to let u know i dont own Stargate SG1 or the characters within it some other lucky person does!

well on with the show as they say!

* * *

Mad Mad World

Chapter 1 – Madness Ensures!

Jack: no

Daniel: yes

Jack: No

Daniel: Jack!

Jack: Daniel?

Daniel: Stop it

Jack: Why?

Daniel: Because I think we're annoying the people

Jack: What people?

Daniel: The ones behind you

Jack: Who's behind me?

Daniel: _points at random internet people who are rolling their eyes and holding spear at 'Jack and Daniels' throat_ I can translate if you want

Jack: Yeah tell them to get the hell away from me before I shoot them

Daniel: Err...I don't thinks that's a good idea..._looks up into sky as a big- and I mean BIG- ship flies over with even bigger guns that the tokrah_ I could try to tell them we're cherobies

Jack: cherobies?

Daniel: err... people who visit foreign lands with gifts for the leaders... kind of like but kissers...

Jack: right ok u tell that's what u are I'll just hitch a ride with the tokrah then

Daniel: but jack the tokrah hate us now...so you'll have to be a cherobie

Jack: and WHY do the tokrah hate us Daniel

Daniel: coz u told them to shove it when they asked us for help with a new enemy they peed off

Jack: well they are the ones who peed then off no need for hostelriesis there what about Sam's dad Jacob

Daniel: um he's in jail

Jack: why?

Daniel: he agreed with you

Jack: oh right um so any chance of talking us out of this one then

Daniel: um I can try no promises

Jack: well bloody well start trying I'm missing the Simpson's

Daniel: that's not all you'll be missing if you carry on...they're agitated as it is! _turns to random internet people wielding spears _geyu hyu uuwj hjsju fgyq asgu hjlo bhf bshhy dgyku hrh gdt Colonel Jack 'O'Neill, juje ys hdyysauejdjhf huy thdyes hduujs djieunstd ssr _listens as random internet people wielding spears talk back then turns to Jack_ heh

Jack: um what did u say to them?

Daniel: um...err how fast are you at running?

Jack: GOD DAMM IT DANIEL WHAT DID U SAY?

Daniel: err...oh just how we are the peaceful travellers and that your name is Colonel Jack O'Neill...yeah I didn't get to my name ok! they interrupted me...then they said they have heard of us and they aren't happy...there was something about a dungeon, eternity, and lots of pain in there too...my mandlin isn't that good. You've always wanted to be fed to sharks piece by peice haven't you?

Jack: no but I didn't know that we were so popular

Daniel: err yeah...apophis has a chat room...it averages about 5-600,000,000,000,000,000,001 people at the mo...these are only a few of those members jack we have enemies...and lots of them

Jack: cool like to know that word gets around. now how about we get the hell out of here

Daniel: after you

Jack: k _starts running_

Daniel: heh _turns around and uses stargate to go home leaving jack running on his own_

Jack: hey Daniel get your arse back here

Daniel: err...nope?

Jack: Daniel!

Daniel: _sits down and drinks hot chocolate while watch the malp screen as jacks runs...and runs...and runs and on a dodgy knee too_

_jack runs so far that he eventually come up behind Daniel with his p90 held to the back of his neck_ hello space monkey

Daniel: ooo aaaa...I was going to help you honest but then the chocolate took me prisoner! it's not my fault! blame the chocolate! _points at hot chocolate who seems to grow really big and hairy _roar! see? told you

Jack: but Daniel you're a coffee addict

Daniel: know but I fancied a change...

Jack: wow

Daniel: but now I know why I don't like hot chocolate

Jack: you think!

Daniel: sorry! _big chocolate monster begins to gallop? toward jack and Daniel intent on eating them up_

Jack: u will be _a big tall bald guy walks in front of chocolate monster_

General Hammond: "I don't think so son"

Daniel: _just as the big chocolate monster s about to chomp them tea'lc shows up with a big honking gun and shoots it to pieces_ pew

Hammond: "sg1 minus one debrief in 1 hour"

Jack: thanks tea'lc

Sam: but what about me?

Jack: now u have turned up finally u can join us

Sam: I resent that sir! I was in the ladies-

Daniel: ER need to know carter! that on a need to know

Jack: I know that I'm the military guy Daniel

Daniel: so? u weren't going to say it! you were going to listen and get ima -mmmffphh _jacks hand clamps itself around Daniels mouth_

Sam: you were going to what colonel?

Jack: nothing, nothing major

Sam: uh huh Daniel 8pm!

Daniel: ok la tasca?

Sam: yup back seat

Daniel: gotacha

Jack: what no don't even think a bout it space monkey

Daniel: what? it's a meal jack! with me Sam Janet Hammond and Siler

Jack: _narrows eyes at all of them_ really then where's my invite

Daniel: u weren't invited

Jack: and why not

Daniel: because it's a scientist and archaeology meeting first...

Jack: Hammond's not a scientist or and archaeologist!

Daniel: no but he's in charge of the SCG and its kind of hard to ask to do stuff to the SCG with out him being there. err… jack?

Jack: Yes

Daniel: Hammond's waiting _looks up to a very red, very mad fuming at the ears general Hammond_

_waves_

Jack: oh! _visibly cringes_ we better go tell him how u messed things up with the tokrah

Daniel: you mean how YOU messed things up with the tokrah? _begins walking from stargate room to debrief room_

Jack: what do u mean me u where translating

Daniel: no that was the random internet people who were working for apophis...the tokrah you peed off remember they can speak English I don't have to translate for you plonker

Jack: oh well it was your idea not to help them I just said it that's all

Daniel: no u were the one against it... I was willing to help! it was you they kicked off the planet...I found you on the planet with the random internet people on...

face it jack you screwed up

Jack: ok, ok I did bad _holds up hands in mock surrender_ so shot me I'm only human

Daniel: ok! _takes out pistol and holds it to jacks head_

Jack: dam it Daniel it's a figure of speech

Daniel: oh...sorry..._puts guns away _heh, I guess I stayed a bit too long on abydos

Jack: just a bit _walks into debrief room and general Hammond fixes jack an evil glare_ hi! General_ stares calmly back at General Hammond_

Gen Hammond: you're late

Jack: sorry sir but Daniel wanted to have a debate over a few minor details

Gen Hammond: I don't care! You are a colonel! You must be on time or early when a commanding officer requires your presence! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR! _General Hammond grows significantly as Jack shrinks away_

Jack: yes sir _give a small salute_

Gen Hammond: Daniel 8pm remember… La tasca back seats…

Jack: oh for crying out loud!

Gen Hammond: _turns and glares at Jack_ what was that Colonel?

Jack: nothing sir just coughed that's all

Gen Hammond: it had better have been! Ok I have your reports you can go to the infirmary now…dismissed

Jack: infirmary sir?

Gen Hammond: yes…you go every time you've been off world…

Jack: thought it was if we are injured sir

Gen Hammond: no its not now go!

_After coming out of infirmary!_

Jack: that's better Danny boy

Daniel: you never were on time jack

Jack: and your point is?

Daniel: if u didn't see I before you'll never see it 'colonel'

Jack: well glad we got that settled now u coming to briefing or not

Daniel: well I'd hate to keep the fuming general waiting

Jack: we better not keep him waiting he's mad enough as it is

Daniel: after you...

Jack: no! how could u even suggest such a thing?

Daniel: err... quite easily jack... I just did? Now move

Jack: Ok, ok keep your hair on space monkey

Daniel: do you think he'll explode as soon as we enter or just glare at us then ask us into his office and explode? _walks after jack to debriefing room_

Jack: um... I'd say he'll glare then explode at you

Daniel: ME!

Jack: Yes

Daniel: NO more like you! _points finger in jacks chest out of character like _

Jack: me what did I do"

Daniel: if you can't figure it out now...there's no point in telling you storms off...

Jack: _looks after Daniel confused_ no point telling me what?

Daniel: _storms off to stargate room again faintly aware of jack following_ damn him...

Jack: what? what have I done? I can't sort it if u don't tell me

Daniel: just go away jack

Jack: away why?

Daniel: _suddenly disappears_

Jack: huh? Daniel? Where did that space monkey go now?

_

* * *

_

_Daniel:appears in a dark room_ err jack?

_

* * *

_

Jack: _still in gate room_ oh shit Hammond's going to really kill me now _walks off to tell General Hammond about Daniel's disappearance_

_

* * *

_

Daniel: ..._looks around_ hello? Anyone here? _Is struck from behind and falls unconscious_

_

* * *

_

_Jack: knocks on Hammond office door_

Hammond: come in

Jack: _enters with a big smile on face_ um sir u know u wanted to see me and Daniel sir?

Hammond: _glares..._ yes...

Jack: well _shifts his gaze down to general's desk top_ Danny is not going to be coming sir he's ... umm..._pauses._

Hammond: so Colonel O'Neill are you going to tell me where Dr Jackson is?

Jack: umm. well sir I would...

Hammond: but...:

Jack: _rushing on to get it over and done with quickly_ but I don't know where he is sir

Hammond: what do you mean you don't know? _stands up behind desk_

Jack: well I don't know where he went sir

Hammond: then go find him!

Jack: _manages to stop himself backing off_ umm... how sir he didn't go through the gate he could be anywhere

Hammond: what are you saying colonel? That Dr Jackson just disappeared in to thin air? _said sarcastically_

Jack: umm... yes actually

Hammond: don't play games with me colonel...I'm not in a very good mood as it is! Now go find your missing archaeologist and report back ASAP

Jack: yes sir _stands up straight and salutes_ I'll try

Hammond: there's no trying about it colonel! You will or the authorities will never find you!

Jack: _gulps_ yes sir!

Hammond: Dismissed

Jack: _quickly walks out of the room_ shit how am I going to find that sod ah cater just the woman I want to see

Carter: yes sir?

Jack: first things first you seen Daniel

Carter: um...no... why?

Jack: well we will come to that u heard from Thor recently?

Carter: no...Thor's on vacation in the east sector of the inter galactic planetary association...

Jack: is he now that's nice _raises eyebrows at cater_

Carter: what? He told me...so where's Daniel?

Jack: umm... well u know Daniel always running off and getting lost

Carter: well he's got to be somewhere; he can't just vanish into thin air...

Jack: it happens more than u think major!

Carter: what are you saying sir?

Jack: for crying out loud he disappeared on me!

Carter: are you sure?

Jack: well let me see one minute he was standing right in front of me and the next... oh yeah he wasn't!

Carter: and you weren't dreaming? hallucinating? drunk?

Jack: no, no and drinking on duty Hammond would kill me

Carter: but since when have you obeyed rules sir?

Jack: since when has this conversation been about me?

Carter: I don't know...so where is Daniel? I need him to carbon date the tablets

Jack: well the carbon tablets are going to have to wait till we find him wherever he is.

Carter: so where is he?

Jack:_ THROUGH CLENCED TEETH_ I DO NOT KNOW MAJOR!

Carter: what! You mean he's out there...somewhere...on his own? Do you know how high the ransom is on** his **head?

Jack: no I don't what's that got to do with it

Carter: sir, if he's out there on his own then the goau'ld will have him with in seconds...we may never see him alive again

Jack: don't u think I don't know that major just help me organise a search will you

Carter: sure...but only if you tell me where we start looking

Jack: if I know that I wouldn't be asking

_sudden small girl appears in front of jack and carter_ "are you the colonel?"

Jack: hello? yes I'm the colonel and who are u?

Girl: I have a message from Daniel...he says that he is ok and wants to stay...in other words he doesn't want to be found

Sam: and how do you know this?

Girl: he told me

Jack: well where is he?

Girl: in a galaxy far, far away

Jack: well that's helpful a gate address would be even better

Girl: a gate address? what's that?

Jack: _slaps hand on forehead_geeze what are they teaching kids these days what galaxy far, far away is he in?

Girl: I don't know it's far away"

Jack:_ groans_ did he say when he was getting back

Girl: he didn't but the woman with the glowy eyes said never

Jack: What!

Girl: are you deaf?

Jack: no I'm not deaf. Shit this is bad!

Girl: what's shit? _innocent look_...

Carter: sir the goau'ld have him! _stops suddenly _and they have new technology too...

Jack: double shit!

Girl: I have to go now...the queen is calling me back...bye _disappears_

Jack: I better go warn Hammond _starts walking off_ oh carter u better start digging my grave now Hammond not going to like this

Carter: sure sir...where do you want it?

Jack: as far away as possible _walks to Hammond office and knocks on door_

Hammond: come in

Jack: General Hammond sir

Hammond: why m I not going to like this?

Jack: umm... sir? I haven't said anything yet

Hammond: I know... but it's the second time today you've come to me...

Jack: well the first time u called and well now I think there's something u should know

Hammond: such as?

Jack: um well a bit of good news we know Daniels ok

Hammond: that's good... so where was he?

Jack: we still don't know but _takes a deep breath_ we know he is in the presence of a goau'ld

Hammond: what! you mean to tell me that one of my best men is out there with a goau'ld! how did this happen colonel?

Jack: I don't know sir one minute he was in the gate room and the next he's gone then this kid turns up and says he's alright but with a goau'ld!

Hammond: then you'd better find him colonel!

Jack: yes sir! _quickly leaves the room before Hammond can carry on yelling_

_

* * *

_

_back with Daniel...is badly beaten..._ what do you want with me?_ looks up at cloaked figure of woman...she steps forward, eyes glowing under hood...removes hood Daniel gasps you_! I though jack killed you!

_goau'ld smiles_ a goddess can never die...and you our beloved, will find out soon enough...our king will soon mature...

_

* * *

_

Hammond: what are u doing colonel! you still have to find Dr Jackson!

Jack: I'm looking for him sir!

Hammond: well you're not looking hard enough! now go!

Jack: I am I am

little girl appears hi again!

Jack: hey! you I need to talk to u

yah!_ is_ _scared! and hides behind teal'c who happens to be walking down the corridor_ help!

Jack: I'm not going to hurt u I need to talk to u bout Daniel

"O'Neill, there is a matter in which I must discuss with you..."

Jack: can it wait teal'c?

Teal'c: indeed..._looks down at girl hiding behind him and raises his famous eyebrow_

Girl: you're not going to hurt me? _is hesitant_

Jack: no I'm not going to hurt u I promise _holds out hand for small girl to take_

Girl:_ takes hand still unsure_ you promise?

Carter: _runs down corridor_ Sir! we have a clue..._looks at jack holding a little girls hand and smiles..._

Jack: yes major _snaps to get carter attention away from the little girl in his hand_

Carter: well there was a symbol on the floor in the dust when I went to investigate the crime scene...I told the cleaners to leave it as it is...not much change in there schedule it seems...any luck with miss anonymous here?

Teal'c: I do not believe we have earned the young girls name yet...

Girl: I'm Namine...Royal servant to our Goddess Hathor...

Jack: right teal'c u and carter go and figure out this symbol while I take Namine here to see Dr Frasier to get check out ok?

Teal'c: Indeed _bows head _

Carter: Yes Sir _walks off with teal'c behind her_

Namine: What's a Dr Frasier? _is confessed_

_

* * *

_

Daniel: _wakes up ouch...that hurt looks around, is in a large silky bed in a large silk draped room...wearing silky clothes... what's with all the silk?_

Hathor: do you like it? walks erotically over to the bed

Daniel: You!

_

* * *

_

Dr Frasier: Colonel, how can I- _sees Namine_ help...?

Jack: um Frasier this is Namine and she's come to say hello

_Namine: hides behind jack_

Frasier: Hello there Namine, I'm Dr Frasier, can you sit on this bed for me so I can take a look at you?

Namine: why?

Frasier: I just want to check for any bumps or cuts and the like...

Jack: _picks Namine up and places her on the bed_ see that's not to bad is it?

Namine: Daniel! et tu quord elmire! _begins to cry hysterically and is oblivious to the outside world... (basically having a vision)_

Jack: _looks at Janet unsure what to do_ um... its ok Namine its ok we will find Daniel don't worry

Namine: het dfuty retikna! hust jut denyiou! _pushed Jack away from her and runs out of the medical wing..._

Dr Frasier: Namine! _runs after her_

Jack: dam it Namine _runs after both_

_Namine: is running down a corridor and manages to lose jack and Dr Frasier...runs into Daniels office then stops Daniel...promptly faints_

Dr Frasier: Damn! I lost her...

Jack: how she a kid?

Dr Frasier: well I don't see you knowing where she is colonel!

Jack: _sighs_ lets start a search then

Dr Frasier: ok...

Carter: Sir! hey we found out what the symbol means...it's a sign of Hathor...err...where'd Namine go?

Jack: she did a runner and we lost her just now u not seen her?

Carter: no but if she's obsessed with Daniel, then try his office... it's a good bet that she'll be there

Jack: Carter your a genius _dashes off in the direction of Daniels office/room/lab_ Namine, Namine u here_ looks around the office and finds the small girl on the floor unconscious _shit! _he picks the small body up and carries it back to the infirmary_

DR Frasier: Colonel! what did you do now! _takes Namine from jack and begins routine check ups_

Jack: _holds hands up in defence_ I didn't do anything I she was like that when I found her!

Dr Frasier: _scowls but begins to smile in a teasing way_ its ok Colonel, you go see Carter, she has info for you I'll call you when she wakes up

Jack: is she ok? _peering at the young girl_

Dr Frasier: She will be if you let me do my job, now go

Jack: ok, ok I'm going _walks off and finds carter_

Carter: Sir! We have the results...

Jack: they better be good results!

_

* * *

_

Daniel: what do you want from me?

Hathor: What did we want before? Our Beloved has returned...

Daniel: I'll never join you! besides which your snake king is dead...

Hathor: We have other ways of making you ours...

Daniel: The pink smoke won't work either

Hathor: I told you last time, it only ever works the once on a human anyway...but this will make you mine..._holds up a small black vial_ thirsty?

_

* * *

_

Jack: Carter your results in English please?

Carter: err...ok is a naquadah substance but it has a residue of the technology that Thor uses to 'beam' you up to his ship...

Jack: and that means?

Carter: it means that it's possible that the goau'ld could have adapted the asguards technology and beamed Daniel to them...that's how he disappeared...and also how Namine here appeared

Jack: right but was she sent or did she come of her own accord?

Carter: that you'll have to find out

Jack: me?

Carter: yes you! she seems to like you...talk to her about it, get her to tell you...

Jack: ok _taken back by what carters said_ when she wakes up I will. any idea where they took Daniel?

Carter: none as of yet but we're working on it sir

Jack: well keep working on it the longer it takes the less chance there is for Daniel. Teal'c any idea what our old friend would want with Daniel this time?

Teal'c: there is none O'Neill,

Jack: dam it! _sighs_ well keep working on it I'm going to see if our little friend is back in the world of the living yet

_

* * *

_

Daniel: get away from me!

Hathor: Shhh _hold hand device out towards Daniel_ be still... _Daniel unwillingly become still_ open _Daniels mouth opens_... drink _Daniel drinks...then falls unconscious_

_

* * *

_

Dr Frasier: She's awake sir...and she wants you

_Carter: eyebrows raise_

Jack: ok I'm coming _ignores carter as he walks out. then walks to the infirmary and stops in the door way_

Namine: Jack! _springs off the bed and hugs him tight_

Jack: whoa your feeling better _picks Namine up and takes her back to the bed_

Namine: yup! and I don't feel my goddess calling me anymore...its strange

Jack: how do u mean did she call u before?

Namine: it was like a psychic bond she forced upon me...I could feel her when ever she needed me...but now I don't...what happened to me?

Jack: umm... well u umm u fainted

Namine: I what? _looks faint_ oh no! Daniel! we must help him!

Jack: ok its ok we will help him. but we need your help do u think u can help us

Namine: ok...

Jack: well first can u tell me where they took Daniel?

Namine: _is hesitant_...she'll kill me..._begins to cry_

Jack: Shhh no she wont I wont let her kill u _sits on bed beside Namine_ I promise I wont let her

Namine: you pinkie promise? _holds out little finger_

Jack:_ laughs to himself_ yes I pinkie promise _wraps his little finger round hers_

Namine: they took him to the castle... big triangle castle...

Jack: big castle where?

Namine: it was in the forest...behind the mountains...the rings took us there four moons ago

Jack: don't suppose u know the gate address or even the name of the planet

Namine: what's a 'gate address'? what's a planet?

Jack: guess not umm a planet is where u live like here we are on a planet called earth what was where u where called?

Namine: um, our village was called serengita...but I remember the Goddess talking of an earth...and a 'chapa ai'...but I don't know what they mean

Jack: _more to himself_ I wonder what Hathor is up to now?

_

* * *

_

Hathor: come our King, you have a World to destroy...

Daniel: Of coarse my dear, anything for you...

_

* * *

_

Jack: to Namine do u know if Daniel is hurt at all

Namine: he was sleeping when I saw him, but he woke up wanting to know where he was...I told him and he looked ill...he asked me to find you...then our Goddess fund out and told me tell you he was ok and doesn't want to come back...

Jack: so she sent u the first time?

Namine: yes, but when I got back and spoke with Daniel again he told me the goddess was evil, and that he needed to get out ... so I came back

Jack: well I'm glad u did come back did Hathor know u came back is that y u fainted?

Namine: I don't know why I fainted, but I came back because he looked so desperate

Jack: u said u moved to this place four months... moons ago where were u before

Namine: in the village

Jack: what village was that do u know the name?

Namine: I told you! Serengita

Jack: ok ok I got a short term memory have u lived in serengita all your life?

Namine: yes...except for four moons now

Jack:his voice was soft and comforting (don't ask y thought it sounded good) what about your mum and dad did they move with u?

Namine: no, they...they were..._tears begin falling down her cheeks_...they were killed...the men with long weapons killed them...

Jack: I'm sorry _wipes at one of the tears falling down her cheek_

Namine: you needn't be, it was long ago..._shrugs away from jacks touches_

Jack: well I am _lets his hand fall back to the bed_ did u say u had psychic link with Hathor?

Namine: yes, it was so she could contact me at a moments notice should I be needed.

Jack: does it work the other way could u contact her or know where she was

Namine: I can locate her...and Daniel too...

Jack: that's good now we just need to get there

Namine: I Can take you there!

Jack: u can?

Namine: yes silly! how do you think I got here!

Jack: how did u get here?

Namine: _very excited_ I'll show you! _grabs jacks hand_

Jack: wait nam..._doesn't get any further_

_Namine: teleports to home planet_

Jack: …ine _looks round in pure amazement_

Namine: this is the forest where the castle is hidden! if you go that way the rings are by a water fall, they take us to my village and this way grabs jacks hand and pulls him along is the castle

Jack: shit!


End file.
